... romantic relationships. I've stumbled upon a new passion. Actually it's not really a new passion but a latent passion that has been stirred recently. All of a sudden I found myself ranting, raving, and railing about this blog post that has been roaming around some of the students. The title of the piece is, "Is He/She... The Right One." Already my eyeballs are starting to take an elliptical course.
When I first came across it a few months ago, I remember scanning the article and thinking... meh. I could understand how it was encouraging to the person who was copying it onto her blog, given where she was at so I didn't really say much about it.
I took a closer look at it when some women told me they were reading and discussing it. I lost some self control and I could not stop myself from ranting about the ridiculousness of the article. It's pretty long, and I have many objections but my main complaint is that the post is extremely naive about marriage. I googled the original post because I kept thinking to myself, this was written by an unmarried woman. I was right. Anyone who has been married long enough has concluded that the idea of "the right one" being portrayed in this post is completely unrealistic.
I believe the author misquotes scripture and does extremely poor interpretation. Most of the scripture quoted is taken out of context and only used to support her own ideas. If you're looking for actual evidence of her points in scripture, it's fairly thin.
If I could sum up this post and my objection, it would be that it's teaching women to look for unbroken people as mates. Broken people looking for perfect matches... err... right.
What's the point of spending time looking for a Mr. Right that will fit our laundry list of qualities? First of all, he doesn't exist. Second of all, if you found him, he's probably hiding something. Third of all, it doesn't guarantee a happy marriage. Happiness is not really the point of marriage anyway. It really bugs me that the post encourages you to find someone without brokenness.
What also bugs me is how the post is really unfair to men. It sets up absurd standards for a mate. There are only two logical conclusions from reading the post: you won't be getting married because he doesn't exist or you think you've found him only to be disappointed.
I wish people spent more time considering their own brokenness and what they were doing to become a better partner rather than wanting someone else to be awesome for them. What about having just one qualification. Instead of finding Mr. Right, what about finding the man that's committed to working out and working on the brokenness inherent in the relationship. Enter with eyes wide open about the ways you will fail each other. Enter with much grace.
Instead of looking for Mr. Right, how about looking for Mr. Let's try to work on our brokenness and maybe in 20-30 years we'll start getting some things right.