Why do I see so many women treat men as their furry, cute pets to take home, to take care of, and to train?
A few years ago a few men I knew wanted to hop on the knitting trend. My respect for them dropped even as they boasted that they were getting in touch with their feminine side. I'm not sure knitting really achieves that.
I think some men actually believe they are winning brownie points with women when they show their "sensitive" side. The reality is though, you're making yourself into the sidekick friend who will stay just that... a friend. If the men want to stay just friends, that's fine with me. If you're interested in having a girlfriend that may become a future spouse however, cease and desist all such behavior. Just say no.
A few weeks ago I entered a fellowship party that seemed pretty happening when I arrived. Some women said, "Peggy! Look at the guys' nails!" Sure enough, some of the men had allowed themselves to get their nails painted. Some had cute designs, some had multi-colored nails. The ladies had fun doing this, but it reminds me of trying to get my dog to roll over. As the men showed me their nails, they seemed really proud of themselves as if they had pleased their master. The looks on their faces said look what I was able to do!
If you ask the ladies whether or not they imagine their future boyfriend or husbands having painted nails, the answer would be decidedly no. I don't know of any woman who dreams of their future marriage and imagines themselves sitting side by side with their husbands... knitting.
Bryan loves the movie Tears of the Sun with Bruce Willis. Once I came home to him watching it and he warned me that the best part was coming up. As I anticipated the "best" part, I enjoyed a 5 minute scene that involved everything being blown up. I looked over to Bryan and his face was filled with excitement as he exclaimed, "Yes! Yeah!"
I will never understand the thrill of watching things being blown up. I can't understand why men are fascinated with UFC. I may be compelled to "tame" my husband and make an argument about how violence is bad. But experience has taught me to accept that this is in his DNA and to sit with him as he is enthralled by loud explosions. I don't believe it's my responsibility to domesticate the men in my life. I am still learning when to let it go. Every time Bryan goes skiing I know in the back of my mind he's jumping off of 20 foot cliffs. But I know better than to prevent him from doing it and I trust that he knows how much risk he can take.
This month in InterVarsity we're examining what God makes of gender. Here is my shameless plug for you to come to large group! After a talk about women and a talk about men, I will be tackling what it means for each individual to be fully feminine/masculine.
Note to readers: I think it's perfectly okay for men to be artistic and to take interest in creative projects... even knitting if they want. This post is meant for those who engage in such activities at the bequest of their women friends.